Resolutions & Dreams ♡ Tea Time with Blair

The gentle tapping of soft rain trickles against the windows as the song Strawberries & Cigarettes plays softly. Feeling overwhelmed with the stress of the next few weeks ahead, I’m in need of a complete fresh start.

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Hello my Darlings!

With the holiday season almost officially behind us, I’m ready to jump into a blogging schedule and bring all of my enchanting planned out posts to you loves!

As you can tell, I didn’t complete blogmas. My reasoning being that as it was the Christmas season, I just wanted to live in the moment and enjoy it. I was also starting feeling indifferent about it as some of the posts just weren’t me or in brand with my blog. I just didn’t want to put up content just to put up content and I also didn’t want to put up a post if I didn’t have time to give love to other’s blog posts.

Though fear not, my darlings! I’m still going to remain consistent with blogging as blogmas has made me realize that I truly missed writing and it’s one of my goals for the new year!

Speaking of which, that is what today’s lovely post is all about; my wishes for the new year and reflecting on 2018. So snuggle up with your softest blanket, a delightful cup of tea, and sit back for a darling tea time blog with me!

This time last year I was in an awful place in life; almost as bad as I was back in 2014. After something awful happening to me at the place I used to work at and replanting back into an eating disorder, it just seemed to be all downhill from there. Even though it felt hopeless, I set goals for the year. Though as some of you may know from past posts, I wasn’t able to do all that I wanted.

However, with all the ups and downs of 2018, I did accomplish one thing I really wanted; I found a part of myself. Through learning this part and coming to accept myself fully for who I truly am, I felt as though a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. Everything in my life just started making sense and I’ve learned so much about myself since then. Just this small discovery made the year less bitter for me.

While I may not be completely in a healed and happy place, I’d still like to set out on some dreams and resolutions for this new year. I feel that I’m in a place where I will be able to take the proper steps to completing them so that I can welcome in healing light and positivity in my everyday life.

That’s my main goal of the new year after all, only allowing healing light & positive thoughts.

♡ Treating myself better – This is a huge one for me being that I do have an eating disorder as well as body dysmorphia, which causes me to be extra hard on myself and to be quite frank, bully myself. It gets to the point where I break down crying over it and honestly I just don’t deserve that. With the fact that I have people in my life (and even random people sometimes) who say rude and hurtful things to me including things about my looks, I just feel I shouldn’t add to it by also being mean to myself. I deserve self love and feeling good.

♡ Gaining confidence and complimenting myself – This brings me to my next point and goal, feeling confident. Something I’ve come to learn this past year is that some people fear confidence. They’ll see someone feeling themselves and saying things like “I’m amazing, pretty, beautiful, etc…” and they immediately try to bring that person down by insulting them, calling them ugly and saying they’re full of it among a plethora of other terrible things I’ve seen when another person expresses their confidence. It’s awful to see that some others have to do this to feel better about themselves.

My issue with this is that I’ve always been afraid to express my own confidence and complimenting myself for fear of someone trying to do that to me. I feel as though if I say I’m pretty, I’m an amazing person, or I’m worth it (whether it’s a rare moment I feel it or I’m trying to “fake it until I make it”) someone will just hate me for it and comeback with “you’re not cute, you aren’t a great person at all, etc.” Honestly I’ve actually had this very thing happen multiple times including on my Twitter. I was told I shouldn’t call myself cute insinuating that I’m ugly. That completely got to me. So I constantly put myself down about my looks as a way to beat them to it. If I never feel good about myself, then they can’t insult me right? Wrong.

So I’m not doing that anymore. I don’t deserve it.

♡ Embracing myself and not caring about other’s opinions – What I’ve learned is that no matter what you do — whether you’re being what everyone expects you to be or being your true self — someone out there will always have a problem with it. There’s always going to be someone trying to be negative and bring you down to their level for whatever it is you’re doing…so you might as well be completely you.

I want to let my true self shine through 100% no matter what. Be it through my personality, my makeup, hair, style, etc; I want it to be authentically me and not give one care what anyone has to say about it. The people that take an issue with it, well they don’t belong in my life do they? Not at all.

♡ Not giving up, staying down, or letting self-doubt stop me- There’s been too many times that I’d set goals and create dreams, but then life gets messy and I have to change things up or I get knocked down. This leads me to doubting myself and a whole lot of self hatred and being hard on myself, which then leads me to giving up completely. I must do my absolute best to knock this off. I can’t let a roadblock get in the way of what I truly want to do because if I do, then I’ll never reach my dreams.

I want push through, remain consistent, and complete all my goals. Even if it takes longer than expected and even if there’s a roadblock, I want to be able to find a solution and work around it instead of giving it all up.

I know these goals aren’t going to be achieved overnight, but that’s okay. Maybe that’s just what I need to actually reach them, to know that it will take time and it won’t be a straight, smooth road to get to them.

And that’s okay because I’ll get there eventually.

I hope all you loves have a safe and happy New Years and you’ve enjoyed this tea time. Let me know some of your goals for the new year in the comments below!

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